Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Lessons from Two Years of Living in Love


Normally I put out blog posts on Tuesday, but I really wanted to put out a post today because it's a special day.

Today marks the two year anniversary of Kris and I moving in together. He showed up with an overnight bag for "just a few weeks" while he renovated the bathroom at his house.

Well "just a few weeks" have come and gone, the bathroom has been done for a while (as well as some other rooms) and we couldn't be happier in cohabitation.

Living with a boy can be fun, it can be strange, it can still catch me by surprise. I've learned and loved and lived so much more in the last two years for having him in my life every day.

Today, I want to share some of what I've learned with you.

1) Meet in the middle (or middle-ish!)

This is one Kris and I always emphasize to our friends who move in together. He puts it this way: 

"You think you're clean.. but you know she's way cleaner. So you move in together and you step it up, because you want to be better for her... It's not enough though, what you REALLY need to do is step it up another two levels, and have her come down a level, and that's where happiness is."

This doesn't just have to apply to cleaning, but anywhere where compromise is needed. 


2) Say "thank you"

I can't emphasize this enough. Say thank you for hugs. Say thank you when your partner cooks. Say thank you when they let you pick what to watch on Netflix. Say thank you when they take a million photos for your blog. Say thank you when you're sick and they go out and get you meds and soup.

Say it a million times a day. It's just as important (sometimes more) as saying "I Love You" 


3) Go to bed angry.

I don't know who came up with "never go to bed angry", but it's terrible advice.

When It's 11pm, 12am, 3am, and you're fighting, angry and sad... just go to sleep.

Look at your partner, take a deep breath, tell them you love them but that you need to finish this talk in the morning. Crawl into bed next to them and sleep.

Don't fight through exhaustion, in my experience that just leads to stupid things being said and only remembering about half of what you fought about in the morning.

I promise, after some sleep, you'll be able to deal with your issues together in a much more productive way.


4) Kiss. Often.

Kisses are plentiful in my day. First thing in the morning, over our morning coffee, before we leave for work, when we get home from work, while we make dinner, as a thank you for doing dishes, before we go to sleep and a million kisses in between.

Each one is special. 


5) Be independent!

As wonderful as it is to be part of a team, the best thing about living together in a relationship is that you can be secure to do things on your own!

Hit the gym, go out with the girls, spend weekends apart. When you share your life with someone you see them all the time. It goes from scheduling time to be together, to scheduling time to NOT be together so you can do your own thing.

Of course, you should always schedule a date night even when you live together, bringing me to...


6) Check in with each other.

It's easy to start taking each other for granted when you're together all the time. Schedules get practiced, routines become "rut-ines" and conversations become more mundane. You should actively work to talk with each other about what is going on in your lives.

Kris and I like to have dinner together every night, TV off and phones away, to catch up on our days. We also like to have a date night at least every other week where we can chat about life, each other and our plans.

Checking in on your partner's day, their life, their feelings is so important. Don't forget to do it.


7) Fall asleep together.

This is my favourite thing I've learned. I don't even really know where it came from or how we started doing it.

All I know is, 99.99% of the time, Kris and I turn off the lights and go to sleep at the same time each day. That time of day, the feeling of closeness that comes with sharing a bed with someone you love, is the best part of my day.

Plus it keeps the monsters under the bed in check.




Do you live with a significant other (boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse)? Are you considering it? If you do, what have you learned by living with them?! let me know in the comments below


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